It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it’s called Life.

Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.

Most of the trouble in the world is caused by people wanting to be important.

Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom, in the pursuit of truth as in the endeavour after a worthy manner of life.

The pen is mightier than the sword … if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.

I wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote,” so right before I die I could say “unquote.”

God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.

Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window.

Men are in error when they lament the flight of time, accusing it of being too swift, and not perceiving that it is sufficient as it passes; but good memory, with which nature has endowed us, causes things long past to seem present.

We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special.

Every country is like a particular type of person. America is like a belligerent, adolescent boy, Canada is like an intelligent, 35 year old woman. Australia is like Jack Nicholson.

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.

I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.

Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that’s not the reason we are doing it.

I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.

One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision.

Silence is an ocean. Speech is a river.

Besides the noble art of getting things done, there’s a nobler art of leaving things undone.

How did it get so late so soon? It’s night before it’s afternoon. December is here before it’s June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?

Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.

You will either step forward into growth or you will step back into safety.

Old Age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you have to start young.

An idea, like a ghost, must be spoken to a little before it will explain itself.

I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks.